if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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