i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
