I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize