So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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