So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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