she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Randomize
