i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
