would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
