Sry I called you an 8
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Randomize
