We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
A bitchslap is in order.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
