My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
