Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
