the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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