I didn't shave. On purpose
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
