Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize