I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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