So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
