I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
