I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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