in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
