hell yes lets make some ravioli
the condom got lost in my hair
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize