the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
