the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
