I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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