moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
