did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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