I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
