it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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