Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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