If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
