Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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