I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize