if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The air taste purple.
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