Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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