Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
