4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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