I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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