my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
