I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize