What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
