Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
