AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
there was a trapeze. enough said
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
