The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
