When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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