We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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