We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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