They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
