True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
