I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
