I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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