why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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