i would punch a child for taco bell
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
