she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Randomize
