Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
