I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize