How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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