Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
