I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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