I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
