i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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