If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
