and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
